iJourney: From Sincerity to Authenticity
iJourney: From Sincerity to Authenticity
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The Different Kinds of Stress
Yeah it’s been a while… I got caught up with finals or finals got caught up with me, which ever way works. Now I’m in a 15 week biology class condensed to 5 weeks followed by another 15 weeks condensed to 5 weeks…
With this I just want to apologize that my writing is pretty sporadic and erratic with ticks and sticks…ok that was lame, anyway I just wrote a little article about stress, something I am feeling lately. And I know I’m stressed for sure when my eye starts twitching and my left eye grows one gray eyelash, along with my one gray hair strand, right in the front of my head…now what’s that all about?
With all that said I have to admit one thing and that is my lack of meditation the last week. I haven’t even been able to squeeze in my 1 hour meditation, and believe me, it makes a difference!
Anyway, here is my little article:)
The Wast Expressions of Stress
Stress impacts each person individually, depending on the reason and its effects. Consequently, there are different forms of stress that are acknowledged through clinical research and research reports. It’s crucial for a person to acknowledge the cause of stress to be able to to recognize how to address it, and hopefully scale down the stress levels. Furthermore, for each type of stress there are different paths to treatment.
Essentially, there are three recognized characteristics of stress: sudden stress, occasional sudden stress, and chronic stress. Nonetheless, a fourth kind of stress, the psychological stress, is also getting more widespread and is conceived as a legitimate type of stress.
Sudden Stress
This is the more common type of stress, which culminates by the burden one is subjected to a day-to-day life. However minor doses of severe stress, can actually be good. Think about athletes that are just about to compete in an event. They experience sudden stress, which activates the creation of adrenaline and it applies them a blast of energy required to execute to their fullest.
The symptoms of this form of stress is easily recognisable and for the most part impacts a person just for a short term. Mutual symptoms include back or neck pain, muscular tensions, headache, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, cold hands or feet.
Occasional Sudden Stress
As noted above, acute stress is quite familiar to most people. However, there are a few people who encounter it more frequently than others. These people are the ones who are so centered on accomplishing governance and yet they are always the ones to flunk when it concerns carrying them into action. Consequently, it’s not surprising that they frequently become irritable, if not with themselves then their initial surroundings. This also explains why they encounter the workplace as quite a nerve-wracking environment.
Additional forms of occasional sudden stress are those people who constantly worry. They’ve become so bleak about the surroundings that they always externalise that something wrong will happen. Therefore, they end up feeling terrible, strained, or apprehensive without having clear grounds for feeling that way.
Habitual Stress
This is the type of stress that tires one out. Additionally, it progresses over time and can bring forth long-term negative effects on a person, whether emotionally or physically. Many forms of chronic stress are induced by trauma that they find difficult to let go so it keeps on disrupting their everyday lives.
One problem with chronic stress is that people oftentimes conceive that it’s something that’s natural to them and that they can’t remove it. Therefore, it makes treating this condition hard because it’s frequently dismissed by the person affected by it. However, it can be handled through stress management programs and behavioral treatment.
Psychological Stress
Stress that possess it’s own set of complexness. With the different cases expressed above, psychological stress touches more of a person’s ability to react to a brought about situation. To be particular, the loss of that power. During serious situations, your body creates hormones called adrenaline and cortisol that instigates the body to create a reception.
Equivalent to charging a battery that creates high-power that must be released. In the case of a person hurting from psychological stress, the body fails to release that burst of energy that’s created. The continued raise in your pulse rate and the creation of adrenaline could result in disastrous problems in your heart.
There are numerous causes as to how one assumes psychological stress but it can include trauma suffered from an emotionally troubling event in the past or other emotional anxiety. The problem with people hurting from psychological stress is that they tend to bring on more stress in their lives by subjecting themselves to nerve-wracking situations. Nowadays, various groups give guidance to help those who suffer from this condition and regain control over their life.
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Feel free to use my article as long as you keep the name and links in the article.
Michelle Falchenberg who just occasionally likes to write, but should and will start writing more articles about anything that tickles my fancy.
lifewithnoboundries.com
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Learn how to Build a Trusting Relationship.
This is a great article and I definitely think anyone would benefit from reading it. It is a bit of a long read but definitely worth the xtra minutes;)
“10 Tips on how to Build a Trusting Relationship”
Trust in Relationships
Have you ever wondered what exactly is up with relationships? This informative report can give you an insight into everything you’ve ever wanted to know about trusting relationships.
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps
to Build Trust in a Relationship
by: Dr. Robert Huizenga
1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What’s up? Why is he doing that? He’s never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn’t mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!
2. Inform your significant other when you become “unpredictable.” No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven’s sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, “I really don’t know what is going on in me right now, but I’m moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!”
3. Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here’s a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, “How do I look?” (And she’s wearing a dress you don’t particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.) Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, “You look great.” You don’t really mean it and a part of her knows you really don’t mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal – we all have done something similar – but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here’s how to match the words with the nonverbal: “I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.) She’s not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She’s not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like.
At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!
4. Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: “But, I don’t want to hurt him.” A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn’t trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out. Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. “Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!”
5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn’t talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can’t trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person. Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining. Now, please. I’m not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.
6. Let YOUR needs be known – loudly. Be a little – no, be a lot – self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here’s a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to “win him back.” So she begins an all out effort to “work on the marriage.”
She invites him to do so as well. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to “be nice” and meet every need he ever said he had. She’s going to “fill his tank with goodies.” Doesn’t work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels “smothered” or maybe even resentful: “
Why is she doing this NOW!” She’s hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive – if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine – just doesn’t work. It’s perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn’t say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so “nice and caring?” Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: “I need…x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?” He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, “What about my needs?” You respond, “I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly.” Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn’t you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn’t that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?
7. State who YOU are – loudly. It is very sad to see those in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting the other person know who they really are. You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to the other person. This sounds easy but I find it difficult for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time declaring our SELF. For one thing, if you’re like most of us, you haven’t given much thought to what it is that makes YOU truly YOU. Don’t you feel like you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, accomplishments, problems and the external realities? Don’t you tend to focus on those things out there or that person out there? You’re concerned about what he is thinking, how he is responding to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be an obstacle and where he will fit in your life? Your conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boringly inane. You converse about things/relationships/events out there. You are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This doesn’t destroy trust. But it doesn’t create it either. And, if you do take a stand it may serve the purpose of protecting you or entrenching you as you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers. Take some time to reflect on your standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards do you hold for yourself? What do you order your life around? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live by? What are you known for? And then…begin letting significant people in your life know. They will respect you. They will know you more deeply. They will thank you for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as a person of character. They will trust you. They can count on you. They know exactly what is behind and within you.
The information about relationships presented here will do one of two things: either it will reinforce what you know about relationships or it will teach you something new. Both are good outcomes.
8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO! Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don’t stop, you demand they stop. If they don’t stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment.
To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED. Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well?
9. Charge Neutral. When your significant other expresses something powerfully, charge neutral. Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I commonly hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attacking, shutting down, or walking away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear. Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place or shutting down, practice charging neutral. Communicate calmness, not only in your tone of voice but also in how you carry your body. Don’t speak with a charge to your voice. Control your voice! Say what you must say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do this, once you master your fears. It will dramatically change the flow of the relationship. You will be able to point out something big, without making a big deal out of it. You will be in control of you. This not only feels great, but your partner trusts that you won’t fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. Don’t people really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of themselves and others? Your partner will love the fact that she can trust you consistently to operate from your “quiet center,” remain engaged, not back down and speak the truth with conviction and calmness.
10. Dig into the dirt. Relationships of emotional investment, by their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, turmoil, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist from which your life is shaped and formed. Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward the frightening unknown. Dig into the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really TRUST that this can happen? The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want to be. Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are given as lessons on which you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embrace the difficult. Trust that in this embracing you will find more of your true self. Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other are to face. Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be that much more easy.
Compliments of:
www.blakepublishing.com
Now you can understand why there’s a growing interest in trusting relationships. When you have more information about relationships, you’ll be in a better position to meet your own needs as well as that of others as you build a Trusting Relationship together! Subscribe to our FREE weekly relationship articles sent to your email address…
www.relationshipsecrets.net
Thanks for your time!
Bill & Evelyn Blake
Online dating opens the whole world to you and allows you to make your own choices of who and how you select partners to date. So go ahead and explore!
FriendFinder is respected worldwide with millions of members. By offering so many websites and variety, you get to explore all the dating options that are available to you… Keep an open mind, choose smart, and always keep yourself safe and healthy.
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About the author: A True Romantic @ heart that learned
to love thyself first so that I could
share unconditional love with others…
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This is a “Shareware” Article
(what’s that? read on…)
This article is shareware. Give this article away for free on your site, or include it as part of any paid package as long as the entire article is left intact including this notice. Copyright © 2006, www.Blake Publishing.com.
Not such a great day…or?
Well, today didn’t really start off on a good note, not because it was out of my control, but rather because I totally lost and gave up control! This is something I would have never been able to even think just a year ago.
It really starts with my lack of time management…something I have never had, unfortunately…
I stayed up until 4:30am trying to finish up a project for school that was due today, mind you my daughter had to get up at 6 am to go on a trip with her school. Needless to say I was so tired that when the alarm clock on my phone (don’t have a regular alarm clock…don’t ask why) went off I pressed snooze for an extra 5 min. Well, that ended up being an extra hour. My daughters buss was leaving her school at 7:15 and they where waiting for no one!
So, one eye open and the other still asleep I managed to help her get out the door in 5 min (a total miracle…she’s never out the door in 5 min) a good thing the school is only about 10 min away so luckily she made it!
Now, with her off, I went back to sleep just to get an extra hour before school…dumb move, I over slept and got to class 45 min to late, the project was a mess and I didn’t make the “deadline”…”I was fired from that job” according to my teacher.
Next was my final in psychology…mind you I have been doing an A all semester until today. I managed to not read after my midterm…time management again…and my planned reading during the weekend was quickly shut down by absolute derails (facebook, twitter, blogs, email etc) plus the “11y going on 20y” temper tantrums. With that said…Piaget, Skinner, Vygotskies theories on children development got interesting answers from me, I had total brain freeze. All I could think about was how tired I was and how irritated I was that I couldn’t remember stuff we’d been talking about the whole second part of the semester!
To end it all, I had my advanced business writing final with an essay discussing Ralph W. Emerson’s assertion that we should go forth and speak the “rude truth in all ways.” Although we are a world of acknowledged liars, cheaters, and thieves and how we will go to great lengths to embrace deception for self-preservation….yes yes…that became a short nice tight essay….or should I say: a short essay!
Finally home at 8pm….and you know what…after all, it’s not such a bad day. I choose to not make it a bad day. I still have a nice home to come back to, a computer, food, water, things and stuff and…. you know what there are people out in the world with real worries and problems, real pain…how can I let that get to me?
Tomorrow is a new and exciting day, with new, interesting and information to learn and process 
I will end the day with my daily meditation then go to bed so that I can get the sleep and rest I need to meet tomorrow with new strength!
You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. – Charles F. Kettering
Until next time;-)
Bless the Lord (Universe, Higher being, Mother earth, whatever you believe… 
Benefits of Meditation
Since I’m on my new journey of daily meditation I just wanted to list some of the researched findings of the benefits of meditation. So here is a list of some benefits, both psychological benefits and physical benefit.
Physical Benefits:
* Meditation decreases the metabolic rate and lowers the heart rate, thus indicating a state of deep rest and regeneration.
* Meditation reduces stress which is indicated by lower levels of stress-hormones such as cortisol.
* Meditation reduces high blood pressure.
* Leads to a deeper level of relaxation.
* Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
* Enhances the immune system. Research has revealed that meditation increases activity of ‘natural-killer cells’, which kill bacteria and cancer cells.
* Also reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress.
Psychological Benefits:
* Meditation helps to decrease anxiety, depression, irritability and moodiness.
* Meditation improves memory.
* Increased clarity in thinking and reasoning ability
* Increased self-actualization.
* Increased emotional stability.
Like I said, this is just a partial list of the benefits of meditation.
To see more benefits of meditation you can visit these links:
Physiological, Psychological & Spiritual Benefits Of Meditation
Out Of The Canyon – Book
This is a book I want to read as soon as I can get some time out from my school books! I read an excerpt from the book and I know it’s going to be a teary but good read. Just thought I should post it for you to take a look
An Unusual Friendship…
Wow, now that’s one of the things about life that makes it so wonderful…got a little chocked up here!
Meditation
The one thing I am trying to make part of my everyday routine is meditation. I have always been interested in meditating, yoga and the like but like everything else in my life, I have for some underlying psychological reason not focused or put any time into it, until now.
I try to meditate every day, I am using a program called Holosync. It’s basically “The lazy man’s way to meditate.” It’s a program that uses scientifically proven brain technology that gives you all the benefits of meditation but in a fraction of the time traditional meditation gives.
I use that plus a few other similar programs, but the Holosync is my main program that I do everyday. The only thing is that it takes an hour, so I sometimes have a little trouble squeezing it into my day…my solution is: I do it either early in the morning (set the clock 1 hour early to do the meditation) or right before I go to bed. Since one of the effects of this meditation can make you tired (and I am one of the people who get’s tired) doing it right before bed time works well. I just sit up in my bed with my blanket around me, listen to the recording and when it’s done I just lay right down and fall to sleep I do it that way at night because you are supposed to sit upright when you listen, not lay down.
I came to realize I really felt a fundamental need for silence, inner peace, and moments of reflection. Also, I surely want to experience the health benefits that numerous meditation studies have shown to yield. There is a growing awareness that there is a link between our state of mind and physical health. Very often inner turmoil will show itself in physical ailments (like for example heart disease) and meditation can give peace of mind which in turn can be a helpful step in avoiding stress related ailments.
There are so many positive benefits of meditating but but that is for a later writing, and as I write my post I’m sure I’ll be siting all kinds of benefits that are derived from meditating. I will also note my own experiences as I go.
If you would like to learn more about the program I use as my main meditation program, click here to go to their page.
Beginning…
Well, where do I begin? From the start…”On a cold wintery day of 19xx”…hehe, no don’t think so. The day I moved to the US? Hmmm…that would be a long story, no I think I’ll start from this year.
Ok, so 2009 came and my life was still the same, no money, broke, no gut’s to go for what I always wanted to do, single, lonely and not that many friends where I live. The one thing that I find some joy in is school. I got myself back in school to finish off my bachelor degree (that was not really my choice, but kinda just happened, anyway that and my life until now is a story for another time).
One day a girl at my job mentioned “The Secret” to me, she asked me if I had seen the movie, I guess I was complaining about something about my life to her, when she asked me. I had no idea what she was talking about so as soon as I got home I went straight to Google, my lovely Google…. and found tons of information about the move. I went to iTunes and rented the movie and from there I have read and subscribed anything I can come across that has to do with The Law of Attraction, self improvement, meditation, self development, inspiration.
Now I haven’t come very far I must say, being that this is a very current event in my life, I’m talking about only 2 months ago did this world open up to me so I’m still learning, working on negative mind chatter, meditation etc.
So I am really at the beginning of a new journey in life and excited to be on this new path in life.
So come along with me as I share what I learn, discover and “stumble” upon in my way to a better, more enlightened, open, helpful, joyful love of life.
